Tiffany

__ Is Everything the Same? __ Question: Tell me about your school life, was it hard for you? “School was good in Elementary school, but Middle school was not fun. My circle of friends from elementary school were mixed with lots of new kids, some of whom were mean, dumb, aggressive, etc. Kids were even allowed to smoke in the bathrooms, which seems crazy to me now. However, I survived, like everyone does, and I think it toughened me up a little.” -Steve Pottle “I didn’t do well in school when I was six years old and ended up failing first grade. But it was because I had trouble learning English when I emigrated from a Korean speaking country.” -Young Kwark

Gender roles are sometimes viewed in different perspectives. From school to friendships to activities, each side has their own way of expressing their ways. My dad (born in Korea) immigrated to the United States and grew up as any other boy would. And my friend’s dad (born in the U.S.) grew up as any boy would as well. Both men went through similar but different things when they were young.  Think about the two quotes above for a second. Those two statements are from different perspectives. Are gender roles the same in other cultures? Who said they’re the same? Every gender role can be different, no matter where it is. In some places outside of the United States, the boys and girls are judged differently. Young said that where he used to live, parents were strict about their children’s education, no matter what gender he or she belongs to. Because of this, boys and girls are both at the level of doing well in school. Now compare it here in the United States, most adults said that back then, girls did better than boys in school. Boys were also the ones that tend to get into more trouble than girls do. What are some similar things? Well, in both of these men’s childhoods, the girls and boys were in a segregated like state. “Back then, I remember girls all standing on one side of the street as they waited for the bus and we waited on the other side of the street.” (Steve). It’s almost the same in Korea. ‘’Guys and girls went to separate schools and still might be separate. There weren’t that many mixed gender schools.” (Young). In addition, both men said that they mostly hung around guys their age or two to three years older than them. Others things they liked to do were to ride their bikes, go hiking and just talk. It's similar to what boys like to do today. Not every gender side is exactly the same, but they are similar to each other. Look into the modern times now. Some girls and boys are still separated from each other and are still judged by the type of gender they are. Other places in the universe may be dealing with this right now. But this shouldn’t be a topic to argue over for long periods of time. Everything has a least one difference in it, and that's how life can be forever.

Opening is still too stiff --try opening with the quote and then explain who Pottle and Kwark are as part of the narrative -- not in parentheses. And as Riya suggests, asking questions without answering is not effective. --MrC

COMMENTS

I feel as though you are asking many questions but not spending much time answering them. I like how you compared the two stories. You should also add the names of the people so you don't have to refer to them as my dads friend. - Riya

I think that the essay is really good, but just like Riya, I feel that you're questions are taking up most of the essay, and the answers aren't as much. Otherwise, it's really good ! -Abby

I love the topic, I feel like it is something that is unique! You might want to think about adding more of what gender roles looked like at home too.-Kristina