Sammi

Have You Ever- by Samantha Russo

have you ever felt the comfort of being in your own home feeling safe and secure

have you ever drifted off to sleep on a very soft bed and never wanted to get up

have you ever woke up to birds chirping and the sunlight brightly shinning through your window

(Micaela) Suggestions: Add more, I feel like you can go farther with this idea. Add contrast and say have you ever.... and go on about negative things, to show the contrast between this nice vision you have right now, and what you don't want it to be.

(Micaela) Things I like: The format works perfectly, the no caps or punctuation. The way you presented your idea through the words, it gave me a good vision of what you were describing.

(Madeline) Things I like: I really liked how people can relate to this poem. (Madeline) Suggestions: I think you should add on to the ending about the birds and your window.

(Tamsin) Things I like: This poem allows people to connect to it, and it really gives off a sense of comfort. (Tamsin) Suggestions: Create the opposite of your ideas like "have you ever drifted off and wanted to wake up because...."

(Nicole) Things I Like: I like the format and I like how you didn't use capital letters. (Nicole) Suggestions: Describe things like why you don't want to get up and why your house is comfortable. Also I think you can add more to the end of the poem.

(Jordan) Things I like: That you're talking to the reader. (Jordan) Suggestions: Tell where you are more, or add where you don't feel these things.

(Zach) What I like: I like the perspective, second person, and i like the Have You Ever's. (Zach) Suggestions: I think you should add more questions and give the poem an end. Gender Essay: Gender, it might just be the biggest thing in our whole lives. Some people don’t realize how it affects themselves and their peers but it is everywhere you go and everything you do gender will have something that affects what you’re doing. What I noticed in the past couple of weeks it that boys and girls interact with each other not the same as at different stages of their life. This is cause by society and what other people are doing. When children are really little around two or three years old they play with both boys and girls and they don’t even care all they care about is that they are playing and having fun and it doesn’t matter who they are playing with. As kids start to get older that changes, when kids get to be around eight years old they start playing with their same genders, girls play with girls and boys play with boys. It stays this way for a long time until kids get into high school and they change so that they are more interested to the different gender but it is in a different way than before when they were younger. When kids are little it is just about having fun and being happy and when kids turn into teenagers it is about being attracted to someone and having a relationship. It stays this way for a long time and eventually when people become adults they become more mature and are able to hang around the opposite gender without having sexual tension. When kids move out of their parents houses they hang out with more of their friends who are boys and girls because they will be with their old friends from when they were young and their new friends that they make which will be more of the opposite gender.  You are around people most of your life and every person has a gender and everyone you will encounter will influence your life and that is the reason that everything had to do with gender.

﻿I think that you should add more evidence to support your conclusions. I also think that this essay conveys a good message. (Madeline Katz)

I liked how you brought up what you personally have noticed, but I think you should make it a little more general and maybe find some statistics and current events elsewhere, that would help support and liven up your essay, interview someone as well to give it a broader representation. (Micaela Silver)

I like your essay so far, but I feel as though it's only half finished. You're missing anecdote and personal experience from whoever you interviewed. ---Tamsin

I like the introduction. It really hooks the reader. I think you should add more examples and add to your conclusion. (Nicole)

Nice intro but you should definetly add more. God, do your homework. (Jordan)