Allie


 * __Gender Playing a Role in Childhood__**

My mom grew up in Long Island. She lived with her two parents and her younger brother who was 2 ½ years younger than her. Her family played a big role in her childhood. She said that her parents told her she could do anything boys could do. Having a brother though also played a big role. I think that our childhoods were very different in some ways. She grew up with a younger brother and I have 2 younger sisters. Some ways her brother played a role was in the games she played. My mom said she would play “his games” which included things like sports and playing outside. She told me that she wouldn’t play things like dolls or dress-up with him like I used to do with my sisters. It’s interesting that she would play his games, but he wouldn’t play hers. She wasn’t a tomboy but she wasn’t girly either. My mom said that she was much more aware of sports and things that boys were interested in than I ever was. This was also because she was often around many boys. Most of her neighbors were boys so everyday after school they would play outside together. A lot of her family friends were also boys so that played a role in her activities. I thought it was interesting how big of a role her brother played in her childhood. It was easy for me to understand how different it was to have a brother than it is to have sisters, since I have two sisters. My mom’s parents didn’t treat her any differently because she was a girl. Her mom was and still is a college professor. Her dad was a car part distributor. She never felt limited because she was a girl. My mom said that they treated her brother the same way they treated her. She remembered one example when this was not the case. She said that when she was in high school her parents were more protective of her when she went out then of her brother. They even said that it was because he was a boy. My mom was of course annoyed at first but then understood why they felt that way. Her family didn’t treat her differently because she was a girl. When they would go skiing she would go with her dad and brother. They would go fast and would leave her behind if she couldn’t keep up with them. They wouldn’t baby her because she was a girl. She had to learn to ski at their pace if she was going to ski with them. Her parents treated her and her brother the same. My mom was never treated differently because she was a girl. Her parents never held her back. Her childhood was different from mine in some ways since she has a brother which played a huge role.

__**First Draft Comments:**__ All telling, NO anecdotes makes it duller than it should be. Surely there is a story that captures workplace life as your father saw it. Surely there is a second story that captures the change. Don't blame the interviewee here; go back and ask them to tell a story --MrC

I don't know why but it is making me write in blue. But anyways, i agree with Mr. Conley with the fact that it is all anecdote. take some of that anecdote and use it for context like evidence. overall a great story i was quite intrigued with it. ~Signor Valenti

AMAZING job and I LOVE how you used many specific examples of how gender played a role in your mom's childhood. I agree that you might want to take out some of the anecdote. -Amanda

You did a really great job, I really did learn about how your mom grew up as a child and the examples of how gender played out, however I felt like some of the sentences went on a little too long and some could even be taken out. -Cooper

Yay! I got it back to black!!! :) You did a good job on your essay, the topic was really intersting to me. It was good that you contrasted some of your own personal expirences with your mom's, that made it even more intersting!!! But you could probably take out some of the anecdote as some of it relates to your topic more than others... but you did a really good job!!! - Carolyn

__**Second Draft Comments:**__ Amazing again!!!! I like the changes that you made, especially how you compared your childhood to your moms, and how they were different and similar based on the gender of your siblings. -Amanda

I like how you just jumped right into anecdote right in the beginning. but i didn't like how there was little context. ~Signor Valenti

Great job!!! You could maybe add more context to the whole essay. - Carolyn :)