Kerry

Gender In My Life At times my mom feels that being a woman has an impact on her life, whether it is good or bad. My dad has never felt that his gender has impacted his life. My mom’s first choice when she got married was to be a stay at home mom and she said that she could have had a career if she wanted to. My dad said that his first choice was to have a career and support his family. He doesn’t have the patience needed to raise kids all day long, though he still wishes that he got to spend more time with us. My mom said that in her daily life she calls on my dad for certain things such as negotiating, for example when we got our last car. The dishwasher repair man will only talk to a man. When they were engaged my dad didn’t want to do the work for the wedding registry which is stereotypical, but in school he played bad mitten, which is not stereotypical. My mom’s friends were mostly girls and my dad’s friends were always mixed. Growing up my mom was told that girls have to look nice and care about their appearance. My mom said that her daughters are both stereotypical girls and that her son is a stereotypical boy. He’s into sports, and my sister and I are into clothing and shoes. Though in some categories there is overlap. For example I play sports like my brother, and he likes to cook like my sister. My mom said that even when we were babies my brother and I were very gender specific. I gravitated more toward “girl” toys and he toward “boy” toys. My dad said that it was easier to raise girls because he didn’t feel the need to set an example. My brother is a boy and so is he so he felt the need to be more of a role model.

All telling, NO anecdotes makes it duller than it should be. Surely there is a story that captures workplace life as your mother saw it. Surely there is a second story that captures the change. Don't blame the interviewee here; go back and ask them to tell a story --MrC

Gender In My Life At times my mom feels that being a woman has an impact on her life, whether it is good or bad. My dad has never felt that his gender has impacted his life. My mom’s first choice when she got married was to be a stay at home mom and she said that she could have had a career if she wanted to. Before she got married she worked at her parent’s tuxedo shop, and my grandparents have been driving around with the embarrassing license plate "GO FORMAL" for as long as I can remember. The tuxedo shop is where they first met. My dad said that his first choice was to have a career and support his family. When he was a teenager he left for college a year early and never got to experience senior year because he had to help support his own family, so supporting his new one just came naturally. He said that he doesn’t have the patience needed to raise kids all day long – and to raise my brother, sister, and I you need to be long on patience. He still wishes that he got to spend more time with us, and makes sure to be home for dinner every night, when he can’t make it he gets us something like Italian pastries or jelly doughnuts. They both need each other at different times when they are limited by gender. My mom said that in her daily life she calls on my dad for certain things such as negotiating, for example when we got our last car. Because of my dad’s job he has the upper hand on negotiating between the two of them. The dishwasher repair man will only talk to a man, so my dad is always around when the dishwasher breaks just one more time. My dad needs my mom to help raise my sister and I.       They are both stereotypical and not stereotypical in many ways. When they were engaged my dad didn’t want to do the work for the wedding registry – he wandered off and when my mom was finished she found him asleep in a chair in the furniture section – this is stereotypical, but in school he played bad mitten, which is not stereotypical. My mom’s friends were mostly girls and my dad’s friends were always mixed. Unlike most kids he didn't have friends who were the same gender as him. Growing up my mom was told that girls have to look nice and care about their appearance, my grandma was rarely ever seen without makeup on. My mom said that her daughters are both stereotypical girls and that her son is a stereotypical boy. He’s into sports, and my sister and I are into clothing and shoes. Though in some categories there is overlap. For example I play sports like my brother, and he likes to cook like my sister. My mom said that even when we were babies my brother and I were very gender specific. I gravitated more toward “girl” toys and he toward “boy” toys. My dad said that it was easier to raise girls because he didn’t feel the need to set an example. My brother is a boy and so he felt the need to be more of a role model. They way my parents grew up and they way I’m growing up are both linked to gender in some way. There’s no way around it. My parents were influenced growing up and so was I, even as a baby I fell into the stereotypical girl mold. No matter how hard you try to change or bridge the gap between boys and girls it can never be done. Those differences are centuries in the making. What would life be like if every girl’s favorite color was blue a and every boy’s was pink.