Lauren

  ** Sold **  This is the season  Mother digs a hole  In advanced  For when their baby dies  I am too marry  Who they tell me to  And be his slave  There have been 4 kids  Between my brother and I  And they are in those holes  What’s the point of living  If your not allowed to have a life   *This poem is based on the book “Sold” Bilal -I like the topic -I like the way you wrote it, the perspective and tone -Look over your grammar and spelling -Try and make it longer

Laura -I like how you did something different my making your poem based on a book. - The line breaks are in very good placement. - Maybe add some periods, so that it doesn't seem like the poem is just a run on sentence. - Where it says, "I am too marry him", change it to, "I am to* marry him."

Daniel -I like the topic -I like the title as well -You should add some stanzas -I would add som punctuation