Maddy+D.

=Gender Essay:=

FIRST DRAFT COMMENTS: I like how it was written from your moms point of view. I think you should interview someone else with a different view, like maybe you dad, to have two different perspectives, one boy and one girl. - Jackie B.

I like how the essay dismisses ideas that boys and girls should be treated unequally with opportunities. Some general ideas are repeated, like how coming from a poor family made the parents think that education was important. UPDATE: I disagree with what you added about hard work being the most important thing in making money. Who works harder, a construction worker or a high tier food critic? Who makes more money? I would revise it and bring the writing back to gender because there are too many variables in money making.-Matt Solnick

 SECOND DRAFT:

 This is written from my mom’s point of view and her opinions on gender in her life.

It was probably a bit easier being a boy. We lived in Flemington, NJ (which was very rural). I spent a lot of time in NYC and in Princeton, NJ, where I danced and played in orchestras. Flemington was a bit too far removed from NYC for me. Most mothers stayed at home and the fathers worked. There were presumptions that boys would excel and achieve. There were some people that believed that good opportunities should be given to boys before girls. However, I really was a bit oblivious to gender stereotypes in many ways because of the way in which my parents raised my sisters and me. Generally speaking, boys were more focused on college than girls. I recall people being more inclined to stereotype others based on whether they had money or not. Since we didn’t have a lot of money, people sometimes assumed that my sisters and I would not be as successful as those who had a lot of money. But, my parents (who had nothing growing up except for their families) always told us that money did not make people better or worse. If you work hard, you can achieve things, regardless of how much money you have. Money doesn’t guarantee success. It can help open doors that other people don’t have open to them, but if you don’t work hard, the open doors are useless.

I went to public schools through high school. I spent a lot of time in activities outside of school, so I didn’t focus too much on what was going on in school (other than course work). Given my outside activities, I didn’t have much time to socialize with kids at school. I had some good friends at school that shared similar musical interests and I enjoyed playing in musicals, chamber ensembles and orchestras with them.

There really were no specific gender roles in our family. I was one of 5 girls, and there were no boys. We were raised to believe that there was nothing that we couldn’t do, if we worked hard. We could mow loans, help clean the house, move furniture, cook, etc. More importantly, we were taught that girls could do anything that boys could do. We were raised to know that we could excel at things if we worked hard. We could pursue whatever career we wanted.

 There were really no stereotypes imposed on us. My parents had grown up in Ireland where boys were generally given more opportunities than girls, and they didn’t want any limitations placed on their daughters. We didn’t have a lot of money, but my parents made sure that we knew that a good education was what would make our lives better in the future. Whether people come from a poor family or not, it doesn’t matter because how do you think that they became rich, they became rich by working hard. Things in life aren’t given to you; you have to earn them, by working hard. It doesn’t matter if you are a boy or a girl you are given the same opportunities, today if you want to do something, like be the best soccer player at school, you have the opportunity to but to achieve that goal you have to embrace it.  I try to instill in my two daughters the same beliefs that I was taught – that if you work hard and focus, you can do whatever you want. My husband cooks and I don’t, so that is a bit of a gender reversal.

As being one of the daughters that my mom is talking about, personally, I think it depends on whether or not your parents believe in gender stereotypes for you to believe in gender stereotypes. My mom has never believed in gender stereotypes because there were no boys in her family so her and her sisters would be the ones that would help their dad with the cars and mowing lawns and doing jobs that would be considered a man’s job.

 I do not believe that there are certain jobs or opportunities that should be a man’s or a woman’s. In my family today, my dad is the one who cooks and my mom is a trademark lawyer. Probably because my parents were raised to think that there were no gender stereotypes that were apparent, now my sister and I think that. Overall, it doesn’t matter if you are a boy or a girl, if you work hard you can do anything.

Second Draft Comments:

I like how you put a lot of detail into it but I think you should combine some paragraphs and make it flow more like a story of your mom's past. It still seems as if it is in Q & A form. - Jackie B.