Frank

**__Growing Up in Hangzhou__** When my mom was younger, she lived in Hangzhou, China with her parents, and two brothers, one older, and one younger. She did a lot of work around the house, and did well in school, as one of the only girls in the family. I decided to interview her and see which American stereotypes she went along with and which she didn’t.

When my mom, was home, she helped t o do stereotypical jobs, such as doing the laundry, or washing the dishes. However, she also did jobs such as operating the stove, which was run by coal. That was a messy job, and I did not expect her to be doing it, expecting one of her brothers to do it. My mom says that her two brothers were very lazy, and I think that may be true nowadays as well. In my opinion, boys are lazier than girls, and I think that others agree with me. When she was around the house, she did almost all the housework, including brooming the house, and just cleaning everything.

It was another day, and my mom went to school, like always. At school, my mom was one of the top students in the school. She was one of the top two students in the entire grade at one point, meeting her mother’s expectations. In school, she had a lot of friends, however all of them were female. My mom said that all her friends until college were female. She later said that in college even, she barely talked to males. When I asked her why this was so, she said that was what everyone else in China was doing, so she decided to fit in normally, not unlike today.

I think that people at this time followed some stereotypes, but not others. They did only talk with friends with their gender, like I mostly do at school, but I am not sure about how my situation in High School will compare to hers. She also defied stereotypes by working “man” jobs, and not just “woman jobs.” I think, however, at this time, life in Hangzhou, China, is not too different from my life today.

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Frank--you are just listing facts, information--turn this into story. If you need to find out more the house, the work she did as a kid, full of specifics and details--interview further. Lots to do here to make this right.

I think that this is good but it needs more flow, you have the details, but you need to make it into more of a story.

I agree, needs more flow to the story. I like how you mentioned what actually happened during her childhood.

I agree with above, you have many details but this is not a story and does not provide specific examples. i do appreciate the way you compared some aspects of her childhood to yours

I agree, this is very good, but to make it better, put in more of a story format.

This essay has many facts, but they need to be put together in a better way