Lily

__ What Do You See? __

On the outside You see any other person Plastering a smile on their face to make it seem like there is nothing wrong Walking around forgetting all their feelings And bottling them up.

But on the inside, They are sinking and Can’t bring themselves back up. Trying to deny things that are happening in their lives Constantly holding back the tears that are trying to burst out And find help.

You look at them and only see the obvious, But don’t bother to get to know them Or even go deeper into their thoughts so you stick with your view And don’t ever look back.

Lauren -I love the title -I love your last line -Put a section of happiness! -Describe the persons feelings who is talking

__Julia__ what i liked: i like the title and how you are able to expand off of it because it is a question i really liked the last stanza, it really left me with something to think about suggestions:

i think you should use some figurative language (metaphors, similes) to enhance the poem i think you can afford to play with the format to see what you can do

George - What does 'bottling it up mean'? - Not so many descriptions - I like the idea of describing the feelings of the person - I also like the last line it summarizes the whole thing

Bilal -I like the topic -I like how you said that "they are sinking." -You could take the above metaphor further -I think that you could make this longer and add more, really develop it

Laura - The way you described this person really allowed me to pictures the type of personality. - The title summarizes the poem well, because what people think of this person seems to be based on what they see on the outside. - Maybe replace some of your less sophisticated words in the poem to words that can really grab the readers attention. - Maybe change some of your line breaks. For example, maybe you could put "Constantly holding back the tears" on the same line, then "That are trying to burst out and find help" could be on the same line.

Daniel -I like the title -I like the second stanza alot -You could expand it and add more -I would use shorter lines and have more line breaks