Sydney+M.

Sydney Meister April 1, 2011 English Essay Section 4, 8 East

//What punc. mark is missing somewhere in the red?// Gender is define d as “  se x: the properties that distinguish organisms on the basis of their reproductive roles” the earliest differences in gender date all the way back to the bible’s first story of life; Adam and Eve. The version of this story that I know Adam is created to look after all of G-d’s creatures and watch over the world that was created. But G-d soon realized that Adam was lonely so out of one of the ribs of our first man and the dust on the ground below him G-d created Eve. And He created them as a couple to take care of and enjoy the company of each other. // (in fairy tales maybe) (untrue for most species //) That is all that males and females do, they live in pairs and mate in pairs with the ideas of being partners for life, the same as other species in the animal kingdom. People can get married and have children together through the love of this couples bond. But what I do not understand is why females have been the lower item or less important half of this iconic whole. The same way my dad’s mom was a stay at home mom and his father would go out and work to bring home money and support the family.

My father dated my mother for five and a half years, after they met during my mom’s final year of high school. They then were engaged after my dad proposed which is just another one of our society’s examples that men overpower women. And in this case the male was the most dominant so it was his job to ask the women for her hand in marriage. // (Sydney, really, now! Is overpower the right word??) //

Women have always been portrayed as the weaker link like when Eve disobeyed Adams orders and ate a fruit from the forbidden tree. That showed that women would forever more be the easiest to crack under pressure. And therefore men should support the family and go out to work, and bring home the money at the end of the day. Leaving the female home with the kids to cook and clean and do the laundry.

The same as when the Israelites left Egypt and Moses went to get the tablets up Mt. Sinai. While he was gone the men collected all of the jewels and gold that they had left with. And when they would ask and try to take their wives jewelry the women would not let them. They refused to take part in the others idolism. So instead the men went on to make a smaller calf than expected and started to bow down to this form of “G-d.” that is why Moses supposedly smashed the first set of tablets and had to return to the top of the mountain to receive them once again. In this case the women were more dominant. They were the ones that did not take part in this form of worship although women still did not have or gain the same rights as men.

One of my dad’s favorite things to do was ride his bike and play sports. Once my dad was in fourth grade he was allowed to ride his bike up and down the block alone. And at the same age girls were allowed to ride their bikes alone also. So in this case females and males were treated the same, just like the creation of the golden calf.

Although females have just started to climb up the ranks in the workplace that does not mean that they did not have trouble. Being male or female can say a lot about your future, like a joke a guy friend once told me “Hey, Sydney, you’re so smart. If you were a boy you could be a doctor or a lawyer.” My goal now is to be as successful as possible and prove that females have just as great a chance as males to achieve their goals. Our gender decides our abilities to succeed in this world which is something that I believe needs to be changed.

__Comments on fist post (not this draft) __ Maria- This essay is enjoyable. i liked how you did not just list facts, but made it flow and made it into almost a story. ===I think you should put some less explanation on the religious history and concentrate more on your dad. === This is very good, Maybe you could add paragraphs. This is a good essay but the introduction could be more interesting with less fact and more about your dad and gender.

I think you should talk more about your parents in the first paragraph