Maria

Growing up in a family with only one girl and five boys can be very controversial. Boys and girls are very different and very similar in many ways. They both have the potential to do anything they want, but sometimes may feel restricted because of stereotypes that are placed on their gender. In my father’s family there were 6 kids, 5 boys and one girl. There was Anthony, Greg, John, Chris, Ann, and Harry. There family was from Lebanon, but grew up in Richmond, Virginia. Boys were treated differently than girls and still are today.  Children were always playing outside. The boys in the family would always be playing around amongst themselves. When they were outside, they were doing one of two things. They would play sports, such as soccer, basketball, or football. They would also ride bikes. One time while playing outside, the boys decided to play a game with their sister, Ann. They decided to play a game that they had seen on the television. In the game one person held onto a tree and the other team members grabbed their legs, forming a line. The other team would then run into the line and try to make the line break. Playing with only one girl, you could imagine how long this game lasted. After one round Ann was crying. When they all went inside, their mother, Margret was angry at the boys and punished them. Ann however was not punished. This is one story that shows how boys and girls are treated differently. Boys got harsher punishments, because they were perceived to be able to handle more than girls could. In this generation, adults would not hit girls very often. Near the house their house there was many ditches and sewer tubes that in the summer would empty and could be crawled through. Growing up, my dad, John always had someone to play with. There were four other boys and they would always be together doing homework or playing around. When it came to chores the boys did all the chores that there sister did, but did extra. The boys would help clean up the playroom and their bedrooms. They would also help to clean up the kitchen before and after meals. Everyone had to take out the trash. There were certain chores that the boys did that Ann did not do however. The boys cut the grass and also washed the car. Ann could not do all the chores girls would typically do herself.  Growing up boys and girls were treated equally, but differently. The adults were stricter about what Ann could and couldn’t do. They were also more cautious about who she would hang out with and where she would be. She was treated no better or worse though. All the kids had the same curfew. One difference Ann verses the boys is that the girl did not get punished as harshly as the boys did. John thought that his sister was treated better in some ways and worse in other ways. The boys picked on her a lot which angered their parents, but they also protected her from other people. When someone was bothering her the boys would make sure that she was left alone. They also made sure that she was protected from anyone who was going to give her a hard time. In this generation, girls were more protected and were more polite than boys did; they were also expected to be well mannered and polite. They were not supposed to go roll around in the mud. One time when his sister was being picked on he went over and hurt the kid messing with her.  The boys would always be playing sports outside. Ann also did sports at school, but at home she did not play sports with her bothers. At school sports were separated, boys played and competed against boys and the same for girls. When Ann was at home and the boys were playing sports she would be inside playing in the playroom with her toys.  Boys and girls toys are different today and they were different back then too. Boys did not play many toys with their sister. They did play board games together sometimes. When they did they would play mousetrap or operation together. My dad also had a mini golf putter and a golf ball that he would play with outside. Mostly the boys played outside and played sports, but when they were inside they would play with toys like hot wheels or with horse figures. At that time there were not many electric toys that were out so most toys they played with were not electrical.  Growing up boys and girls were always doing different things. Boys and girls are still treated differently today. Boys and girls do play together sometimes. Both boys and girls would be treated as equals, but they were both treated differently. Boys had more freedom and girls were protected more. Parents were more concerned about whom the girls were hanging out with rather than who the boys were hanging out with. Growing up boys and girls would play outside, but boys would play sports and girls would do things like jump rope. Gender Essay

I think you should put some actual anecdotes into this piece
You start every paragraph with "Growing up", try adding something about what you thought.

I think the essay needs an anecdote and stories to complete the essay. also it needs some personal opinion and less facts

This is very interesting, but it is mostly facts. Add some opinion to put a spin on this piece.

__NEW COMMENTS __ adding names helped me understand your dad's family more and turned the little details into more of an annacdote

Can you tell us where he is from? Names of the 4 boys? The idea of girls being "protected" makes me curious--protected from what? Why? Did your grandparents and their generation have the idea that girls were fragile? I'd think about this and add some thoughts in your conclusion--reflection like this separates the bess essays from good ones. (Check typos, too--lots here)

I think this still needs an anecdote.