Siena

__Gender Unit Final Work __Siena Furman, Section: 2

Dear Diary, They are so traditional. My parents are so traditional. My parents got married, and soon after, my mom left her job. My father believed that the man should be making the money for the household, and the woman should be taking care of the home and their children. Although my mom is stuck here, at home, taking care of me, my older sister and my younger brother, we do have help at home. Everyone here in Rio de Janeiro has a live- in maid, or nanny. Now that I’m mentioning it, I will tell you a little bit about my background. My name is Sergio Furman, and I was born in Buenos Aires, Argentina, in 1967. After living in Buenos Aires for five years, my parents moved us to Rio in 1973. Okay, back to the story. I am in 8th grade, and I am attending the American School in Rio. I have been here since kindergarten, and I plan on being here for a while longer. My school is set atop a hill, overlooking the city of Rio, in the middle of a tropical rainforest. Although I love the view we have from here, and the wildlife in the surroundings of my school, it can get really hot and humid here. There are also a lot of different types of bugs here, since we are basically in a rainforest, and our school has no air conditioning. This is not fair! I have two favorite bugs that you can find here at school. My two “favorites” are the African Killer Bees, and the Giant Wasp. Both of these huge bugs fly into our classroom almost every day. My classmates and I hope that the bugs fly up to the ceiling fan, and die, or that they fly out the window! It is terrifying! The girls in my class prefer the large and colorful butterflies outside the school! They get absolutely terrified of the other bugs, and they are not afraid to show it! Actually, I think that the boys are equally scared, but they just don’t show it. Today during gym, I came to realize something very interesting. I have noticed that the boys are stronger in gym than girls. That is, unless the unit is gymnastics. For that matter, I usually fake an injury, so that I can go to the nurse, and miss the worst unit of my life. I think that I do this because I am not very flexible, at least compared to the girls, and I don’t want to make a fool of myself! Like most people in Rio, we live in an apartment. Our building is one block from the beach, and we have a beautiful view of the water. In the back of the building, there was a playground. My brother and I often went there after school, and we played games like Batman and Robin, and Hide- and-Seek with the other boys from our building. The girls were NOT welcome. Really recently, they decided to rip up the playground, and they have put in a new futsal court. Futsal is like an indoor soccer game, a game we LOVE here in South America! The girls are not welcome now either! Girls at this age hang out with each other, and they listen to music, and gossip about stuff at school. The girls here don’t really play sports, unlike many female teenagers in North America, like the United States and Canada. My mom just asked me over dinner which gender is more common as teachers at my school. After thinking about it for a second, I realized that I have more female teachers than male. The only exceptions are the gym teachers, since they are usually men. I wonder why this is? Do women like children more than males, and are males more interested in teaching sports than female? This would be some cool research to do later on. I need to remember to do that! Unlike the U.S. and Canada, teenagers here in Brazil don’t really babysit, since most households hired live- in help, who would act as babysitters on occasion. In fact, every apartment in Rio comes with maids quarters. This is the first time I am writing in my journal. My brother would probably make fun of me, and say that it is a girly thing to be doing! I don’t really care, since this will be really cool to read in the future, when I’m all grown up. From, Sergio

(This diary entry was written based on an interview with my dad, Sergio.)

What if you made the turquoise paragraph into more of a story. Have Sergio ask, "Mama, how come..." and then she could explain, maybe even using some example he has told you about -- or ask him for more stories. Try to picture the scene as much as possible. MrC. And what about the first two sentences--do you want us to sense frustration? If so, how can you suggest that emotion simply with choice of words/punctuation.

Good idea about the dear diary segment, but it's kind of confusing about who's talking in the dear diary. -Eleanor Sadik-Khan (Hey enorm--get your own color! :)

I love the diary idea, but maybe you should switch around the order so we get more of a clear cut intro and different topics or ideas about gender. Maybe expand on the journal being a "girly" idea. -Allison Dammann

I don't see what point you are trying to make with this essay. You should expand on the anecdote - TAS

You give an anecdote, that could be expanded to actually get to teh point,but you don't explain. -Gwen

You should explain more about what you think compared to what your dad thinks and elaborate on what you think. Eleanor

Try to express more of the point you are trying to speak about. The journal idea is great, but there is a lot of information and stories so it is hard to get a clear cut idea of this. Maybe make a little note after the journal about what you think about the point you were trying to get across and your opinions. -Allison Dammann